|
| |
An American Werewolf in Kipsburg, USA
CHAPTER 4-SHOWDOWN IN JOHN K. KIPS MEMORIAL PARK
Finally, your efforts have paid off...you have reached the final chapter of this fanfic!
Feel special? Feel important? Feel sick? Bathroom's over there...
=====================================================================
Rebo, clutching Harvey the Wonder Hamster delicatly, ran for her life through the park.
She saw a bench fly by...then another bench...then another...then another...when she
suddenly realized that it was the exact same bench.
"What the hey?!" she yelled.
Before she could react, she rammed straight into someone running by. In fact, it looked
like a big, green, ghost, with pickles hanging all over it. "AH!" she screamed.
"BOO!" yelled the ghost, who then took off and ran the other way.
By the time Rebo managed to collect herself, a group of teenagers ran up. They stopped
upon seeing her. They consisted of a boy in a white shirt and blue pants, wearing a yellow
scarf around his neck. Next to him stood a girl with a green headband, shoulder-length
orange hair, a purple dress, and purple pumps. On the other side of the blonde stood a
shorter girl, who had short brown hair, glasses, an orange sweater and red skirt, plus
orange socks. Cowering behind the trio was a boy with a long green shirt and reddish brown
pants, who was holding a large, brown Great Dane.
"Hey, you guys look familiar..." Rebo said.
"I'm Freddy, this is Daphne," he indicated the girl with the purple dress,
"Velma," indicating the girl with glasses.
"And those two chickens behind us are Shaggy and Scooby-Doo," said Velma.
"Ohhhh..." said Rebo, "Well, I'm Rebo Valence, and this is Harvey the
Wonder Hamster."
"Well, to cut to the chase," said Freddy, "Did you see the Pickled
Phantom?"
Rebo blinked. "Pickled Phantom?" she said, confused.
"Yea, he's been haunting the pickle factory and scaring people away!" said
Daphne.
"Even though he's probably just a disgruntled adult in a crazy costume," mumbled
Velma.
Rebo pointed in the direction of the ghost. "Thanks a bunch!" said Freddy,
"Come on, you two, move it!"
"Uh-uh! Like, we've had enough for one night, haven't we Scoob?" Shaggy said,
defiantly.
"Uh-huh!" replied Scooby, who had jumped out of Shaggy's arms, and shook his
head to affirm his answer.
"Come ON!" Velma protested, "That phantom is getting away!"
"No, let them stay," said Rebo, getting an idea.
"WHAT?!" exclaimed Freddy, Velma, and Daphne.
Suddenly, Shaggy and Scooby both grabbed Rebo and hugged her. "Wow, thanks!"
said Shaggy.
"Yea!" said Rebo, "It's no problem! See, now you can help me find my friend
Al...he was turned into a werewolf tonight, and right now, there's another one hot on my
tail, trying to kill me."
"W-w-w-w-w...werewolf?" said Shaggy, who began to tremble.
"Yea, and now I don't have to face that BIG MEAN FEROCIOUS werewolf ALL BY
MYSELF!"
"Rikes!" yelped Scooby, and suddenly he and Shaggy leapt over to Freddy, Velma,
and Daphne.
"You know what, I think I'd rather just take my chances with the Phantom!" said
Shaggy.
"Rea, rea!" agreed Scooby.
Freddy winked at Rebo. "All right then gang...after that ghost!"
With that, they immediatly took off to give chase to the Pickled Phantom...but that is
another story.
Rebo watched them leave. "Hmmmm...why do they look so darn familiar?" she
wondered, "Where have I seen them before?"
Suddenly, she felt a tap on her shoulder. Rebo turned around to see WereLupa standing
behind her, grinning an evil, werewolf grin. Rebo laughed weakly, then began to run some
more. About five minutes later, she ran into something else. She shook her head and looked
up. It was..."AAAAAAAAAL!" Rebo cheered.
WereAl snarled, then suddenly, he stumbled to the ground and changed back into Al again as
a cloud began to cover the moon. He pushed himself up, shaking his head. "You
wouldn't believe how annoying that gets," he said.
He looked up and saw Rebo sitting on the ground, watching him.
"Finally!"
she said, "I was looking for you, but that MEANIE wolf kept chasing me! Where did you
go?"
Al stood up, brushing himself off. "Good question," he said, "since every
time I wake up I'm always in a COMPLETLY DIFFERENT PLACE!"
Harvey, who had gone flying after Rebo slammed into Al, ran over to Al's feet. Rebo heard
a woman cursing behind her. She turned to see a very annoyed Lupa. "You think YOU
have it rough!" she yelled, "Do you know how hard it's been trying to kill that
little brat?!"
"YOU!" yelled Rebo, clenching her fists.
"Well, so glad to see we've all found each other once more," said an evil voice.
"YOU!" yelled Al, turning and pointing at the Hooded Man.
"Yes, it's me!" he said, "And now that it is OBVIOUS you are BOTH going to
lose, and that girl is going to die, I suppose it's about time that I unveiled my
motivations to ALL OF YOU!"
Al and Rebo crossed their arms. "It's about time!" Al grumbled.
"So, why did you turn Al into a werewolf?!" Rebo asked, angrily, "AND WHY
DO YOU KEEP TRYING TO KILL ME?!"
The hooded man waved a hand in the air, rather haughtily. "Don't you know?" he
said, "It's always custom to kill young teenage female virgins."
"I thought it was custom to sacrifice them," said Al, confused, "But I
digress..."
Rebo had an odd look on her face. "That makes no sense," she said.
"So
what about the werewolf thing?" asked Al.
The hooded figure shrugged. "Dunno...it just seemed kind of fun," he said.
Al and Rebo blinked, turned to look at each other, then turned back to look at the Hooded
Man. "That made even LESS sense!" said Al, "There's no hidden agenda? No
plans for revenge? No secret plot to take over the world that requires you to
use...ugh..."
Suddenly, Al felt weak as the clouds moved away again. Rebo took a step back as suddenly
Al turned back into WereAl. "All right then...GET THAT VIRGIN!" yelled the
Hooded Man.
WereLupa and WereAl took a few steps towards Rebo, who took a few steps back, before
suddenly another cloud covered the moon. They stumbled and changed back. Rebo sighed in
relief. Suddenly, the cloud moved. They changed back...then the cloud came back...then it
moved away...then it came back...then it moved...then it came back...
Al stood up, trying to catch his breath. "Okay, this is *puff* REALLY getting
annoying!" he yelled, gasping for breath, "This whole *huff* transformation
*pant**wheeze* takes a lot out of ya!"
The cloud moved. "Okay, maybe I should have rephrased...ROAR!" Before Al even
finished that sentence he had become WereAl again.
Rebo continued walking backwards, clueless as to what to do next. It had seemed rather
easy before...but now that she was confronted with two werewolves... "Al! Come on!
Remember me?" she pleaded, hoping to at least get Al on her side again. The amulet
had started to glow again, and Al seemed to not be able to fight it this time.
Suddenly, he paused to look down at his feet. A little brown furry creature was clinging
to the fur on his leg...Harvey!
At that moment, WereLupa charged at Rebo, who screamed and covered her eyes. She heard a
roar and then something large hit the ground. She peeked through her fingers to see
WereLupa on the ground, and WereAl, Harvey held in one paw, standing in front of her,
defending Rebo. 'Wow...this is really weird,' she thought, 'Every time I cover my eyes in
the face of a deadly situation, something GOOD happens! I should try that more often...'
"GOOD AL!" Rebo said aloud, "Good boy! You get a treat later!"
WereAl turned toward her, tongue wagging out of his mouth happily.
"@#$*&%!" cursed the Hooded Man, "What could possibly happen
next?!"
Well, duh. That wasn't very smart of him to ask, now was it? Yep, because then something
DID happen! A smoke ball exploded on the ground, that's what happened! POOF!
Hissss....STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMM!
*WHACK!*
Sorry. So, anyway...once the smoke cleared, Rebo gasped. Only five feet away stood a boy
in a big, black coat, a crossbow in one hand and a large gun straight out of a sci-fi
flick. "So, you like to play with werewolves..." said the boy...aw, screw it,
you already know it's Wendall.
Rebo gasped. "Who...who are you?!" she said, surprised.
"Wendall Morosely," he replied, still speaking in a monotone (Nothing apparently
fazes this guy).
As soon as the hooded figure recovered from Wendall's mysterious appearence, he seemed to
regain his composure. After doing so, he barked out "Lupa, KILL THEM ALL!"
WereLupa snarled and charged straight at WereAl. They soon were locked in deadly combat.
Yea, WereAl grabbed her leg and she grabbed his esophagus and he took out her
appendix...oh, dangit, I should stop listening to Running With Scissors while writing.
Oops!
So, anyway, they were fighting and hard. Rebo ran over to Wendall. "Wendall, can't
you DO something?!" she pleaded, "How do we change him back?"
As WereAl and WereLupa continued to duke it out, Wendall laid his crossbow on the ground
and pulled out a small handheld computer, opened it, holstered his gun, and started typing
rapidly. "That all depends on a number of factors," he said, as various numbers,
graphs, and othr images appeared on the screen, "The circumstances under which he
transformed, the length of time since the infection, the method of transmission..."
Suddenly, a small beeping noise went off. "Hmmm...it seems that there might be some
kind of charm involved," he said, "Like an amulet or something..."
Rebo looked at Wendall, blinking. "The amulet?" she said, "I could have
thought of that!"
"But you didn't."
Rebo grumbled something unprintable. Suddenly, she heard a loud shriek and saw Al on the
ground. She screamed as she saw WereLupa charging at him. She grabbed Wendall, yelling
"DO SOMETHING!"
Wendall dropped the computer, and in the blink of an eye grabbed his gun. He pulled the
trigger. Suddenly, a beam of orange and white light shot out of the barrel...and slammed
right into Al, who was trying to get up. He was propelled head first into Lupa and hit the
ground.
Lupa flew off another few feet. "YOU IDIOT!!!" screamed Rebo, grabbing Wendall
and shaking him, "WHAT WERE YOU AIMING AT?!"
"Damn," he said, still in a monotone, "I missed."
Rebo saw Lupa charging again, going in for the kill as Al struggled to get the strength to
stand up. She ran over to him, kneeling next to him. Al whimpered when he saw her. Seeing
him like this brought Rebo near tears. She looked up and saw Lupa ready to charge when
suddenly she was hit by a beam. "I'm using full power," Wendall said, "This
won't last long. You have to grab the amulet."
Wendall still spoke in a monotone, but he had raised his voice. Rebo guessed that was
Wendall's way of shouting. She looked down at Al, who still struggled to find the strength
to get up. "Come ON, Lupa! Hurry up and kill him! He's almost done!" yelled the
Hooded Man.
Rebo slowly lifted her head. Her eyes filled with hatred as she looked at him. She got to
her feet. The Hooded Man watched her. 'What is she doing?'
'I'm you're worst nightmare...' Rebo thought to herself.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" she yelled,
charging straight at the Hooded Man, paying respect to both Rambo and UHF in one fell
swoop. WHAM! Rebo sent the Hooded Man and the amulet he had been clutching flying, in two
separate directions. She chased after it as it hit the soft grass.
As she raced to get to the amulet, the power in Wendall's gun ran out. WereLupa broke
free, filled with rage, and lunged towards the helpless WereAl on the ground. Rebo stopped
looking where she was going and watched Al, in horror...then she heard something crunch.
She lifted her foot and saw the destroyed fragments of the amulet sitting on the ground.
Suddenly, WereLupa screamed as her body began to disentigrate. I'd give you the gory
details, but this is a family story, and I'm also running out of ideas anyway. Soon her
body was nothing but ashes.
Meanwhile,
Al writhed on the ground as he returned to human form (Again, he's not supposed to be
NORMAL!).
"YAY!!!!" Rebo cheered, rushing over to Al, "You're okay, you're okay,
you're okay!"
Al sat up, shaking his head. "Yea, whatever you say," he said.
He took a look up at the moon. No clouds covered it. It took a few moments for the
realization to sink in. "WOOHOO!" he cheered, jumping in the air, "I'm ME
again!"
Rebo and Al joined hands and began to dance in a circle, cheering.
"Oh no you don't!" yelled the Hooded Man, who stood up.
"Oh yeah...forgot about him," grumbled Al.
The Hooded Man pulled out another amulet. "Lucky for me...I got a ginzu knife and a
smokeless ash tray when I ordered that Werewolf Summoner...and I also got this for calling
within 27 seconds!"
The amulet glowed. Suddenly, the ground seemed to burst as zombies crawled out! "The
Zombie Summoner!" he said, "Now, KILL THEM!"
Al, Rebo, and Wendall soon backed into each other. "Wendall!" Rebo whined,
"Do something!"
"I would," he said, "but my gun is re-charging...once it's done I can
adjust the settings to shoot out Holy Particles, which destroy zombies...but that does
require some time..."
Time they didn't have. The zombies were closing in. Wendall was busy with his weapon. Al
spoke up. "There's no other choice then..." he said, seriously, "I didn't
want to do this...but I have to..."
Rebo turned to Al, frightened at his words. "Al?! You can't be serious, can
you?!" she said.
"I am..." he replied, cooly, "You have to go home alive, you know! You've
got a family..."
"DON'T DO IT AL!" Rebo screamed, "DON'T DO IT!"
As an afterthought, she added "Uhhh...what are you going to do?"
Al reached into his jacket and pulled out a tape player. He seemed to be in deep
concentration. He hit the play button. Suddenly, Michael Jackson's "Thriller"
began to kick up.
Within seconds, Al had started to imitate Michael Jackson's every move from the Thriller
video. And the really crazy part was, the zombies were hypnotized by it! They soon fell
into step with Al and cared more about dancing then following orders. So the Hooded Man
cursed some more, while Rebo stood in shock.
"It's
charged," said Wendall, "All right then, this is the plan-Rebo, you grab that
amulet. Meanwhile, I'll take care of this group of Zombies. Can you do that?"
Rebo nodded. "Why not?" she shrugged, "Though Wendall, you sure don't seem
to play a very big part in this story."
"Yes. I suppose the author couldn't think of anything for me to do."
Wendall aimed carefully and fired. A zombie shrieked as it was consumed by the beam of
light, soon reduced to nothing but a pile of ashes. "One down..." he said,
waiting briefly for the weapon to recharge before firing again.
The Hooded Man noticed Rebo coming closer. "S-s-s-stay back!" he yelled,
"Or else!"
He whipped out a ginzu knife. "You'll be sorry!" he threatened, waving it
around.
Suddenly, he stopped, an odd look on his face. Then he began to giggle, then laugh
hysterically. He dropped the knife and amulet and began to roll on the ground. "Oh,
stop it...*chuckle*, stop it! You know I'm...ticklish!"
Rebo knew exacty what to do with the amulet. She stepped right on it. The remaining
zombies that Wendall hadn't killed soon turned to dust. Harvey the Wonder Hamster crawled
out from the sleeve of the cloak of the Hooded Man. "Good boy, Harv!" said Al,
"Good thing we remembered to practice our Zombie Attack Survival Methods!"
Harvey scurried over to his master, who quickly picked him up and stroked him.
"You'll never catch me!" yelled the Hooded Man, getting to his feet and running
as fast as he could.
"After him," said Wendall.
Thus, Al, Rebo, and Wendall gave chase to the Hooded Man, but he was definetly much better
at running than they thought. Suddenly, out of the sky came a large, black tire. It fell
right on top of the Hooded Man, trapping him. He rolled a few feet inside the tire until
he hit a tree.
"We did it!" cheered Freddy, "We caught the Pickled Phantom!"
The group of kids and their dog ran over to the hooded man. "Oh, nice one
Freddy!" said Daphne, "You caught the wrong phantom!"
"D'oh!" said Freddy.
Al, Rebo, and Wendell arrived. "Thanks for the help," said Al, "We were
after this one."
"Well, anytime, I suppose," said Velma.
"Oh well...I guess we'll have to try a new plan," said Freddy, as The Gang
walked away, "Okay, we'll use Shaggy and Scooby as bait, then get lots of airline
glue and poodles..."
The Al Gang, meanwhile, circled around the Hooded Man. "All right..." said Al,
"Let's take off this hood and see who you REALLY are!"
Al grabbed the hood and yanked it back, revealing..."Benjamin Franklin?!" Al and
Rebo said, simultaneously and in shock.
Wendall rubbed his chin in thought. "I believe that our villain is actually wearing a
mask."
"Well then...let's take off the mask!" said Rebo, yanking off the hood to
reveal...
"Drew Carey?!" Rebo and Al said, again in unison.
"Still a mask."
Al yanked the mask off. "John Tesh?!"
They began to take turns yanking off the masks.
"Don Knotts?!"
"Dr. Demento?!"
"Joseph Barbara?!"
"Johnny Cochran?!"
"Bruce Sprinsteen?!"
"Carrot Top?!"
"John Stamos?!"
"A big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock Of Seagulls haircut and only one
nostril?!"
Rebo yanked on the guy's hair to pull of the mask. "OUCH!" he yelped,
"That's my real hair!"
"AHA!" said Al, "Only you would be so dastardly as to commit so foul a
crime!"
The hermaphrodite scowled. "Yea, so what? I've always had it in for you!"
Rebo looked at Al, puzzled. "Wait, you mean all that stuff in the song really
happened?"
"No," said Al, "well, not all of it anyway. But this man IS indeed a
snorkel-thief!"
"So what was your motivation?" asked Wendall.
"It should be OBVIOUS!" he said, "I just hate polka music! And this bozo's
been playing it for 20 years!"
Al lowered his eyes at the man. "You FIEND!" he yelled, "How could you hate
polka?!"
"Well, what do we do with him?" asked Rebo, "He didn't commit any
crimes...at least, I don't THINK turning anyone into a werewolf is a crime..."
Wendall pulled out his cell phone. "Oh yes it is," he said, "Maybe not by
YOUR laws, but it is a high criminal offense in the world of the supernatural."
About 15 minutes later, the hermaphrodite was handcuffed and being placed into a Ghoul
Police truck. "And I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling
kids and your stupid musician!" he yelled through the bars as the truck drove away.
"Well," said Al, "I suppose that wraps up this adventure. Plus, I got my
snorkel back, after being separated for twenty-seven years!"
Al hugged the snorkel affectionately. "This makes up for everything else," he
said.
Rebo sighed. "Too bad it wrecked our evening," she lamented.
Al turned to Rebo. "Yea, well, if you're ever in town," he said, "I owe you
lunch. Okay?"
"REALLY?!" screamed Rebo excitedly.
"Yea..." said Al a bit hesitantly. 'Wait, I hope she doesn't know where I live!'
Wendall coughed. Al and Rebo turned to face him. "Wendall, you really came through
for us back there," he said, "I don't know how to make it up to you."
Al noticed that Wendall's face had turned a light shade of red.
"Mr. Yankovic," he began.
"You can call me Al," Al said.
"Usually, I charge a sort of fee to cover my expenses..." Wendall continued.
Al nodded, searching his pockets. "You take Mastercard?" he joked.
Wendall looked up. He seemed extremely nervous. "A...A...Al...I could NEVER charge
you!"
Rebo and Al were shocked. Wendall had suddenly gained the ability to speak without a
monotone! "I am one of your biggest fans!" he said, "You are a true comedic
genius! I don't care if the other slayers don't
appreciate your songs."
Bowing before Al, he said "It is an honor to have been able to aid you this
evening."
Al was left speechless. 'It must run in the family,' he thought, 'Or rather, MORE than one
family.'
Wendall looked straight into Al's eyes. "I just ask you one favor."
"Sure, I guess!" said Al.
"C...c...can you sign my arm?" Wendall asked, "I'd love to get it
tatooed..."
"Why not?" said Al, pulling out a pen.
Wendall lifted up the sleeve of his jacket and handed Al a felt tip pen. Al carefully
signed his name. "All done!" he said.
Releasing the sleeve of his jacket, he smiled. "Al...thank you so much!"
He turned to leave, then suddenly stopped as though remembering something. "Ah,
yes...Al..." he said, returning to his monotone, "I figured I'd better warn you.
You may have some side effects for a few more days. They shouldn't be too serious, but I
felt that you should know just in case."
"Like what?" asked Al, as he began to scratch behind his ear. "I'll just
give you the list," he said, handing Al a small list of
side effects. Al pocketed it without reading it, deciding that he'd look it over later.
Besides, he felt really itchy all of a sudden. Like he was being bitten by fleas or
something. He scratched himself more vigourously.
"I'll be on my way, then...if you ever need my services, call me. I'll come right
away!"
"Will do, Wendall!" chirped Rebo.
With this, Wendall left, as Al, in a vain attempt to relieve theitching, began to start
biting his arm. "So, I wonder what kind of side effects might happen?" Rebo
asked.
"You've got me," said Al, "Can I see that flea collar?"
Rebo handed Al the flea collar. He promptly put it on. Within moments, the itching ceased.
"Ahhhhh..." sighed Al.
"Well, as long as we're heading back...want a snack?" Rebo asked, holding out a
box of what looked like cookies.
"Sure!" said Al, reaching in and taking one out. He sniffed it, then stuffed it
in his mouth. "Hey, this is pretty good! What is it?"
Rebo examined the box. 'Yappy's Dog Treats...your dog will love that real liver and tuna
taste, with just a hint of cheese!', she read.
"Uhhh...nothing in particular!" Rebo said, nervously, handing Al the box,
"I'm not real hungry right now..."
"More for me!" said Al.
As they made the journey back to the tour bus, Rebo couldn't help but notice that Al kept
pausing to howl loudly at the moon in the sky...
1_2_3_4_Epilogue
|
