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An American Werewolf in Kipsburg, USA
CHAPTER TWO-ANOTHER CHAPTER ABOUT AL AND WEREWOLVES
Enjoying yourself? Feeling like tossing your TWS? Here's a barf bag...and yea, things just
get even wackier from here.
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Rebo was face to face with what WAS the Polka God, "Weird Al" Yankovic, only
moments ago. Now, Al was a large, snarling, werewolf, and he seemed intent on making her
his first victim.
The WereAl lunged at Rebo. "Okay, I can take a hint!" she yelped, then she
turned tail and ran like a constipated wiener dog. Which is exactly when she ran into a
woman named Zelda. She was a calligraphy enthusiast with a slight overbite and hair the
color of strained peaches...oh, wait. That's another story.
Actually, Rebo got about five feet before tripping over her own two feet and falling flat
on her face. She rolled over and looked up to see WereAl in mid-flight. Rebo knew she had
to something. She had no clue WHAT though! 'Darn, if only I'd paid attention during Buffy
The Vampire Slayer! But I couldn't help it...Angel's so cute! Awww...'
Al's claws came closer. Rebo thought this was the end and suddenly she yelled out the
first word that came to mind..."SIT!"
The werewolf stopped in mid-air (ala Bugs Bunny!) and...sat, much like a dog. Rebo
blinked. "Wow! I can't believe that worked!"
WereAl
wagged his tail happily and panted. "Hmmmm...I wonder...Roll over boy!"
Which is exactly what WereAl did. Rebo clapped her hands in joy. "COOL!" she
said, "Now, play dead!"
WereAl obeyed her command. "Hey, this is kind of fun!" she said,
"Speak!"
"Ruff!" barked WereAl, sitting again.
"Awwww...you're such a good werewolf, yes you are!" Rebo said, walking over to
him and scratching behind his ears.
WereAl's tongue hung out of his mouth. Suddenly, he rolled over on his side. Rebo
scratched his tummy, and WereAl's leg began to wiggle.
"Oh sha boo! Oh sha BOO BOO! Yes you are!" Rebo cooed, "You're not a mean
werewolf, are you? No, you're a good werewolf, you're such a sweetie pie!"
"Kill, boy."
Rebo looked up in the direction of the voice. She had no time to say anything, because
that's when WereAl returned to psycho mode, standing up again and slashing his claws at
her. "ACK! NO! NO! STAY!"
WereAl ceased his attack. Rebo looked and saw a man wearing a long, black, hooded cloak.
"KILL!" he yelled.
"STAY!" said Rebo.
"No, KILL!"
"STAY!"
"KILL!"
"STAY!"
"KILL!"
"STAY!"
"KILL!"
"STAY!"
"POTAYTO!"
"POTOTTO!"
(Author's Note: Yes, I can spell...that's just for emphasis on pronounciation. I can spell
potatoe, see! Dan Quayle taught me!)
WereAl looked at Rebo, then at the hooded figure, confused. He began to whimper. The man
placed his hand on his forehead, shaking his head in frusteration. "What are you
DOING?!" yelled Rebo, putting her hands on her hips, "He's MY werewolf!"
"No, he's MINE, actually," said the man, "and I want him to KILL YOU!"
"He's MINE! MINEMINEMINEMINEMINE!" Rebo whined, stamping her feet.
"Actually, technically, he's Lupa's werewolf...but since she's MY werewolf to begin
with, that makes him mine, indirectly."
Rebo looked baffled. "Wha?"
"Look, this is just getting ridiculous," he said, pulling out some sort of
strange amulet, which began to glow. WereAl growled menacingly.
Rebo gulped. "Ummm...stay?"
This time, WereAl did NOT stay. He lunged again. Rebo jumped to the side.
"This...really...STINKS!" she whined, running away once more. Good thing she was
wearing such nice Vans, they allowed her to run better. No, this isn't product
placement...hold on...no, there's just, uhhh, laundry in this bag, ignore the dollar
signs...so let's get on with the story, eh?
Rebo looked up at the sky as she ran. She noticed that some large clouds were slowly
getting closer to the full moon. "If
I can just make it in time," she panted.
Rebo had never been known for running, actually. But being chased by a werewolf allowed
her to get in touch with her inner track star. Yet she could still hear Al...no, WereAl
catching up to her.
Soon, they were running through the playground. It was bound to happen...Rebo once more
tripped over her own two feet. She was never known for her coordination either.
She gasped for breath. She could hear the WereAl catching up to her. She closed her
eyes...then she heard a thump on the ground.
Rebo stood up and saw Al, lying on the gorund, back to normal form. Well, HUMAN anyway.
Hey, he's never NORMAL! She timidly walked over to him. He began to stir, then he opened
his eyes and looked at her. "Where...am I?" he asked, "Rebo, did you drag
me over here?"
As Al sat up, Rebo kneeled on the ground. "Okay..." she said, nervously,
"I've got good news...and I've got bad news."
"Uh oh," said Al, "What the bad news?"
"Okay...you're a werewolf."
"Awwwwwwwwwww! I KNEW IT!" he said, "So I was actually BITTEN by the
werewolf from before?!"
Rebo nodded. Al slid back his shirt to examine the bite mark. The blood on the wound
itself had disappeared, and there remained no bite marks, just a pentagram shaped sign.
"Great," muttered Al.
"You've also been trying to kill me," said Rebo.
Al let go of his shirt and looked at Rebo. "So, what's the GOOD news?!"
Rebo reached inside her coat and pulled out some kind of collar. "I've got a nice
flea collar."
"That's the GOOD NEWS?!" Al yelled, standing up.
Rebo stood up as well. She nodded slowly. "Oh yea, that's just PEACHY! That's
just...hey, let me see that..."
He looked over the flea collar. "Hey, that's pretty nice," he said, turning it
over in his hand.
"Yea," said Rebo, "it's even adjustable, and it's also supposed to be
unbreakable. Good buy, eh?"
Al admired the flea collar for a few more moments before suddenly throwing it to the
ground. He put his hands on his head in frusteration.
Rebo kept glancing up at the moon. 'They're moving so fast,' she thought, 'I don't have
much time to talk before I have to take off...'
She turned to Al, who sat on one of the swings, holding his head in his hands. He looked
genuinely sad. It broke Rebo's heart to see a man who she knew as so happy-go-lucky
and energetic looking so downcast and hopeless. 'How can I have such selfish desires!' she
thought, 'Al is my former lover...and my friend! He needs my support! I can't just
abandon him in this time of need. I'd never forgive myself.'
Rebo sat down next to Al on the swing set. She began to push the swing a little bit ahead.
"I love swings," she said.
Al lifted his head and turned slowly to look at Rebo. "You know, Rebo," said Al,
"you probably don't have much time left before I turn into a werewolf again. You
should...just go. Now!"
Rebo shook her head. "Nope," she said, "No can do."
Al sat right up. "Come on, Rebo!" he pleaded, "What happens if I succeed
next time? You don't stand a chance!"
Rebo just stared ahead. "I'll be fine," she said, "come on, Al! You're not
only my favorite rock star, you're my FRIEND! I know you're trying to make me think you
don't need me around, but you do! This has got to be...heck for you! How can I just run
away when you need someone to talk to more than anything?!"
"Rebo..." Al murmered, surprised.
Rebo turned to him and smiled. She drew closer to him. The space between their faces grew
closer. Rebo tilted her head slightly. "Al..." she whispered.
"Hold still, you've got a twig in your hair."
"Oh, really?" said Al, "Did you get it?"
Rebo pulled the twig out. "Yea, I got it now."
"Good, I just hate when that happens during a serious moment!" Al said,
"But anyway...Rebo there's not much time...you're really going to stay? Because I'd
never forgive myself if I killed you..."
She nodded. "We've been through enough together!" she said, "We're going to
figure out how to beat this!"
Al felt some reassurence. The clouds drifted away from the moon once more. Al moaned
again. He tried to walk away from the swing set, but stumbled a few feet away. Rebo closed
her eyes, taking deep breaths. 'No matter what happens...that's always Al...he's always my
friend...I wish Bobby was here! Oh, my snoogie-woogie-wips...he'd
hold me and stroke my hair and call me his little Twinkie...oooooo, Bobby...'
She opened her eyes and saw WereAl where Al had been only moments before. She took a deep
breath and stood up. WereAl once again fixed his murderous...oh, wait, used that already.
Here, how about...WereAl fixed his DEADLY eyes on her. Is that better? Less redundant!
Anyway, so WereAl fixed his deadly eyes once more on Rebo. "Okay...no matter
what...that's Al, and he won't hurt me," said Rebo, "It's as simple as
that."
WereAl growled. "Okay," said Rebo, whose voice began to quiver, "Just think
happy thoughts..."
She closed her eyes and imagined Bobby. He was holding her in his arms, calling her his
little Twinkie. Rebo began to drool. "Ooooohhhh....Bobbyyyyy..."
"Hurry up and kill her," ordered a familiar voice.
Rebo's fantasy was interrupted by the sight of the hooded figure. "YOU AGAIN!"
she said, "What do you want?!"
He shrugged. "Right now, I want you dead," he said, "Simple as that."
Also just as before, Rebo had no time to react before WereAl lunged (Shoot, now it's
getting repetitive again!). "Stop it! Al, remember me? Come on!!"
WereAl took a swipe at Rebo. She backed up. "Al, remember the concerts? The songs?
Being called the Eat It guy?!"
WereAl swiped some more, growling loudly. "Okay, so that wasn't a good memory,
whoops!" Rebo said, "But you have to remember...this!"
Rebo took off her scarf and started to wave it. Sweat dripped down her forehead. WereAl
paused. "What's the matter with you?!" said the Hooded Man (No relation to the
Hooded Avenger, mind you!).
Suddenly, WereAl clutched his paws to his head and whimpered. Rebo suddenly felt hope.
"Al...you remember!" she said. 'Wait, why does this sound like something right
out of Sailor Moon?' she thought.
"Argh!" growled the hooded man, who yanked out the amulet, which started to
glow.
Rebo watched WereAl, who seemed to be in pain, whimper and whine for a few moments. She
was tense--any minute, he'd charge right at her, but she still held out hope that Al was
stronger than the amulet. Suddenly, WereAl howled loudly and ran away, towards the swamps.
Rebo blinked.
"WAIT! ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!" she whined loudly.
The hooded man plugged his ears. "Great," he said, "Well, while I deal with
that little problem...LUPA, kill!"
Werewolf number one walked out of the bushes from behind the hooded figure. She howled
and...stuff...happened...AGH! I ran out of ideas for the fight scene! ARGH!
Well...okay...hey readers! Wanna play Mad
Libs? Okay, here we go! Just grab a friend and ask them to provide you with words, then
read them back the crazy story you have just helped to write! (Heh heh...now I don't have
to write it myself!>=D I'M BRILLIANT! Whoops...put...the weasels...down...AGHHHHHH!!!)
An American Werewolf In Kipsburg, USA-The Mad Lib!
Rebo gulped as Lupa, the _________(adjective) werewolf howled
and __________(verb ending in -ed) at her. Rebo _________(verb ending in -ed)
and ran around in circles. Soon, however, she tripped over a/an/her own
_________(thing) and fell down. This made her feel very ________(emotion).
As the werewolf came closer, Rebo began to _________(verb). Suddenly,
Rebo pulled out a(n) __________(animal) and sicced it on the werewolf.
The _________ (previous animal) __________(animal sound ending in -ed)
and_________(verb ending with -ed). The werewolf howled and ran away,
the _________(previous animal) still chasing after it. Rebo pulled out
a(n)_________(food) and ate it. She was so hungry after such a(n)
_________ (adjective) fight! She then looked around and saw that the
_________(adjective-no swear words!) man was nowhere in sight.
Who says we fanfic authors don't like to let our readers get involved?
So now, back to the action!
When Rebo noticed the ________(adjective) man (Oops! Back to fanfic mode!) HOODED man was
gone, she wanted to go chase after Al. She was worried about him. However, it was at that
moment that her pager went off. Rebo looked at her watch. It was now 11:27pm. "YIKES!
I'll bet that's mom or dad....what am I going to tell them?!"
She looked at the message on her beeper. "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! IT'S
BOBBYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" she said, "Maybe he can help me! I'd better go call
him!"
Rebo ran off to go find a telephone and call Bobby.
TO BE CONTINUED...
1_2_3_4_Epilogue
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